Jaded in DC

Who even knew....

2006-09-20T08:36:00.000-04:00

Wow, love from the local press (http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/express/pdfs/EXPRESS_09202006.pdf - page 40)!! Who knew people even really read these rants. I feel special.

Don't get me wrong here guys, I love my roommate, I really do. I just think he has an extreme case of blinders right now. He doesn't see what is right in front of him. He is to busy being "happy." If that's happy, may I never be it. I don't want to sacrifice my friends, I don't want to sacrifice my life for another person. When I married my husband, it was because he supported me and who I was. When I met my roommate, I didn't try to woo him. I didn't try to be who he wanted me to be. I was myself. I wasn't phony.

I am a lot more like this girl than I let on. I know a lot of where she is coming from. I understand her issues, but I also understand that I can't rely on someone else to fix me and make me whole. A relationship isn't about being someone's happiness, its about helping them find happiness. When it falls upon each other to be the happiness in each others life, those are some major shoes to fill.

Don't get me wrong, you should want to make each other happy, but you shouldn't be the only source of happiness for each other. You need to know how to function as an adult in an adult world. And I don't think she does. Has she ever even heard the word "No"? I somehow doubt it, and I know it hasn't come from his mouth. Because he only wants to make her happy, he cannot say no. Even when he blatantly should.

I do understand his points. He is"happy," - not sure what other points there were. I get it, its nice to be in a relationship and be needed. Its good to have someone to share things with, but when you are outright sacrificing those around you. When you stop being you, that should be where the line is. Being with someone shouldn't mean sacrificing your friends, and sacrificing yourself. There was an effort when someone died, but that was the last time. Once I got back, the effort went away. You didn't even ask how I was?

We have made an effort, we gave her another chance. She can't buy us, she also can't treat us like children. All we have ever asked is that she be herself and she can't even manage that. I know its because she doesn't like herself. I get that, I have been there. But we are grown people here, if you don't like yourself then why should I? If you can't act like an adult, then I am not wasting my time on you.

It's good to have fun, it's nice to play games. But they all have a time and a place, and she hasn't learned what those times are. I have tried, multiple times I have tried. But I hate watching you sell yourself short. It isn't up to you to save her. I know doing things for others makes you happy, but you shouldn't have to save her. I know her acting like your mom makes you happy, but you are a grown man and you should try and take care of yourself.

My intuition has only been wrong about people once in my life. I had bad feelings about S. In college. That turned out right. I had bad feelings about L. In college, right again. J. Was the same thing. All people I had never even met and I knew. I just know this time, this isn't for you. I have a horribly ooky feeling about this. And I know that someone is going to get hurt. I know it's not going to be pretty. I just don't want to be there to witness it.

Roommates suck

2006-09-19T14:05:00.000-04:00

My roommate is the most selfish jerk I have ever met. He used to be one of my best friends, but since he got his new girlfriend, the word no is no longer part of his vocabulary, unless speaking to my husband or I, and the world apparently revolves around him.

We live together, we lived together for about a year before this girl came along. We never had any real problems. Everyone pulled their weight, everyone got along. Now all of a sudden he can't be bothered to do his share of the work. Now we are all supposed to cater to this "wounded bird."

She walks around my house as if she owns the place. She tells us what we should do, and when we disagree, says she will "let it slide this time." Rather than actually talk to us or address us, she leaves us notes, EVERYWHERE and ALL THE TIME. She thought a good apology was to set up a scavenger hunt and have us traipse around our house. When we refused to do it, our roommate said it was like slap in the face to them both. Give me a break. I am not one of her special ed kids. I don't need to be left gifts or little hunts around my house for post it notes. Just talk to me. Instead of trying to buy our approval, try being yourself. That's all we have asked of you.

No our roommate sees only his side. I get his side. He doesn't think I do, but I really do. But instead of helping he just aggravates the situation. We ask what she is doing and he says nothing. He ignores his responsibilities. He claims he feels like a maid. Well isn't that the pot calling the kettle black. Who ends up emptying your dishes and putting them away? Who takes out your stank ass trash and groceries? Certainly not you, you can't be bothered to take the trash out on trash day...I know I know, you forgot. Whatever, someone with everything in my life, I manage to remember twice a week.

You talk about the situation we put you in, have you reversed the tables at all. We welcomed you into our home when you needed somewhere to go. With no regrets and no question. It was just something we did without even thinking. We went in on this together and now you spend your time shirking your responsibility. Maybe if you head wasn't so far up her ass, you would see that you are so incredibly whipped and such a sublime asshole. You have no idea what her games and her manipulations do to us. Watching her twist you like a piece of clay. She's not sick. She's not even remotely sick, but you buy right into it. Trying looking her illness up in a dictionary. Tell me what you find. A common ailment that most of the human population struggles with. Funny thing about that. Oh yeah, but hers is serious.

You claim you are happy, happier than you have been and we should see that. How could we? You hide in your cave all the time, with your head up her butt. When you come out its to spend more of your dwindling cash supply on her. Funny how she no longer protests. You can't go 24 hours without her. 4 months in and you can't breathe without calling her. That's not a relationship, that's an addiction. Hubby and I are married and don't even see each other that much. Now the rare time you do spend apart from her no longer exists. Because she sits and she waits for you. Pulling you away from the one manly thing you had left. I hope she keeps your balls in a pretty jar.

Maybe when your girlfriend stops treating me like a child I will deal with her. I have tried conversations, but I guarantee she couldn't repeat back any of what I said. She was too busy telling me what was wrong with what I said. Had she listened she would have known that I agreed with her. But she can't because she treats us like her special ed kids. Maybe that's why you like it, because you are 26 going on 7. Somehow it all comes down to her. Why do I have to change for her? She came into my life, she comes into my house. I shouldn't have to do what she wants. I shouldn't have to put on my kid gloves and act like I am retarded. And the fact that you expect me to is the most sickening part of all. I don't even know who you are anymore.

Today it just doesn't seem relevant...

2006-09-11T12:53:00.000-04:00

I was going to write today and complain about the roommate's girlfriend and the incessant drama that follows her. But today, it just seems so insignificant. Today, I refuse to give in and pay attention to her ridiculous attempts at grabbing the spotlight.

Five years ago, this country was left aghast. We were all robbed of a bit of our innocence. Never in many of our lives had one moment so changed things. It was a crisp and clear morning like any other. People on their way to work like every other day. And in an instant, that was changed. Our sense of security and comfort was taken from us.

Thousands of lives were lost. Thousands of families suffered. Millions of lives changed. We lost my uncle that day. A brave and gallant man, he gave his life so others could live. He went back in to help. He got out but he went back in. He was a picture of unselfish giving. We could all learn a lot from the people who perished that day.

So instead of thinking about how someone annoys you, instead of gritting your teeth as someone pisses you off, think of those people who gave so unselfishly so others could live. Think of people like my uncle, who gave his life so complete strangers could live. Maybe if we can think about that, those people who drive us crazy might have a little less effect on us.

Taking out the trash...

2006-09-01T10:23:00.000-04:00

So taking out the garbage is not a hard task. It happens twice a week where I live, Tuesdays and Fridays. We merely have to put it by our sidewalk outside our front door, they come and pick it up from there.

When we bought our house, with our roommate in tow, it was agreed that trash would be his "chore". For awhile, that meant he took the trash out and put it in the can out back, and once a week, usually Fridays, put it out front. Well a few months in, they commandeered his trash can, and now they just take the bags. Ever since that development, getting him to take the trash out is a hassle. He cannot handle it.

The garbage is in the kitchen, right where he stops every morning to prepare his lunch and breakfast. Half the time he adds contributions to the trash before he heads out the front door to his car. Does he take the trash with him? Absolutely not. I have spoken to him about it endlessly. Every time I get a new promise that things will change. And they usually do for two weeks or so. He takes the trash bag out of the can and puts it outside. The pile of boxes and soda bottles behind it, they stay right there. They apparently are not trash to him, despite the fact that he is the one who put them there to go out with the trash.

It's infuriating. I don't ask much. The only thing I ask him to do is take the trash out. That's it. He never has to clean, he never has to do anything. When we moved he volunteered for trash and "outdoor" duty. I gave up on outdoor duty and now ONLY want the trash done. As he walks by it. On his way. Am I really asking that much??

Too kind...

2006-09-01T10:19:00.001-04:00

So people actually read this. I never thought anyone would besides me, my life is too boring. But this blog gives me an outlet. A place to share my rants and raves without fear of pissing off people, without fear of offending people, and without sharing all my feelings to those in my life.

To my surprise, people read this. I have been getting some comments lately, all good ones. Y'all out there are really supportive especially with all the crap in my life lately. You have no idea how nice it is to hear supportive comments from random people that I don't know. It gives me hope for the human race. Maybe we aren't as evil and apathetic as I once thought.

Thanks guys...you have no idea what you have done for me and how appreciated it truly is.

So I have been thinking lately...

2006-08-30T10:33:00.000-04:00

Since my grandfather's passing last week, I have spent a lot of time thinking about my own life. About what I want out of it, what I want to accomplish. And here is a list of goal I would like to achieve (or have started) for my life:

1. Have a family - I really want kids, more than I ever realized. I want to be a mom, I want kids that are a part of my husband and I. I want little lives to love, to form, to make into good people. And I want it now.

2. Get my Masters - I started this one finally.

3. Get my PhD - what good are a J.D. and an M.U.R.P. without a P.h.D. to match

4. To teach - I want to be a college professor. I want to teach undergrads about government and policy and other good stuff.

5. See the cliffs of Ireland.

6. Take a cake decorating class

7. Buy my Mercedes Benz C230 - I know a horribly materialistic goal, but I am being honest here.

8. Buy a house (DONE!!)

9. Go snorkeling in Hawaii

10. Take my husband out of the time zone!

11. Get a breast reduction - something I have dreamed of since I was 11!

12. Serve in an elected office.

13. Get back into art, particularly painting.

14. Learn to knit

15. Pay off my student loans - I am on pace to be done around when I retire!

16. Pay my parents back all the money I have borrowed from them in my life.

17. Learn to relax and enjoy life as it comes.

18. Get a job that I enjoy and care about.

19. Be on television

20. Go on a real vacation and enjoy it.

So looking at this list, I realize that most of what I want it actually attainable. I don't want to change the world, I don't want to go down in history, I just want to be happy and successful. Maybe I am closer to that than I originally thought.

Saying goodbye is the hardest thing to do...

2006-08-29T10:14:00.000-04:00

Saying goodbye to someone you love is never an easy task. It hurts, it's painful, it makes you cry, but when that goodbye is final, it makes it that much more unbearable.

Last week was the worst week of my life so far. It's something I never want to experience again, but undoubtedly will, as nothing in life is certain except death and taxes. Regardless, it was a week filled with family, with memories and with heartache. I was fairly stoic all week long. I tend to follow my father's example at times like this, and he held his chin up and so did I. I greeted family and friends, I thanked people for coming to pay their respects. I comforted my sister as she sobbed and broke down. I cried but not so vocally, not so outright. I kissed him goodbye, and tried to remember the man he was.

The tears would not stop though, when we went to the funeral. My cousins, sister and I decided to give the eulogy, sparing our parents the task. We wrote letters to him and read them aloud. It was the most painful task I have ever completed. I cried like a baby, sobbed out loud, and even had a snort that I am sure Grandpa loved. But I pulled it back together. I got a grip. We went to the cemetery and we said goodbye.

There was an Air Force Honor Guard. They came all the way from Maguire AFB to Westchester County, NY, just for Grandpa. As a World War II flight instructor, it was a fitting tribute. But it was also the source of the most painful moments. To hear Taps played for him, to see my Father sob, to hear my Father crying out loud, to see the Officer present my Grandmother the flag, with the respect of the President of the United States. Just thinking about it makes me cry.

How can someone so legendary, so influential, so funny, so important, so loved, be gone? It hardly seems fair. There are so many words that were left unspoken, so many moments I didn't get to share. But it's over now, he's gone. He's not ever coming back....

Death sucks

2006-08-19T20:49:00.000-04:00

I was very excited when I awoke this morning. I was headed off to my Orientation for my Masters program, set to start on Monday. All through the orientation, my excitement built. I am so happy to be a part of this program, and it's so completely what I want to do. I had no idea what would await me when I got home.

I returned home, figuring to have an uncomfortable conversation with spmeone I can't say I like, but instead I returned home to my husband greeting me at the door with bad news. My beloved grandfather had passed away overnight. So please excuse the typos, but I am a little intoxicated right now. Wiating for morning when I can leave to be with my family.

It wasn't a surprise, he had been sick for months. He had been in and out of hospitals, fighting all sorts of infections. This last hospital asmission, we knew would be his last. Hwe fought so hard to live, to spend more time with my Grandma. BUt in the end, not even 24 hours passed between when he entered the hospital and wehn he passed. Its now 9 hours since I found out, and i have yet to cry.

Maybe its bvecause he was sick. Maybe its because the last time I saw him, it wasn't him. But I can't cry. I miss him already. I don't want it to bne true. But I have not cried. My sister, my cousins and myself voluneteerd to deliver his eulogy, mostly because no one wants to see our parents in that much pain. I know most of the duty will fall to me. A trained attorney, a trained orator. And I am ok with that. But I think I still dont ghet it. He's gone, he's really gone.

The man who taught me to blow rasberry's with my food. The man who was convinced I would be the next Annika on the LPGA tour. THe man who knew I could handle law school and grad school. The backbone of my family. The patriarch to our small clan. The man who always knew I would be something. THe man who was so proud of me.

ANd as I write this, I shed my fisrt tears. For the man who taught me so much. So much more than he ever knew. I am finally able to cry. Finally able to say it...he is gone, and he is never coming back. And now I am crying....how can I live without my Grandpa....Oh Poppy Peaches, we will never share another early morning bowl of cvereal. Before everyone else wakes up. We will never fix that thunderbird, we will never play a round of golf. How can you be gone already....how can I face the world without you??

Drama!

2006-08-16T10:23:00.000-04:00

Have you ever felt like drama was your middle name? That it followed you around and played out in various parts of your life, when all you really wanted was five minutes of peace.

For the first time in a long time, I am kind of at-peace with the drama in my life. It's not really my drama, it's my friends. It's only mine because he lives in the same house as me. His stupidity will cause him to get hurt, being a friend who loves him, I don't want to see it. It's like watching a car crash, all you want to do is get out and stop it, but you can't. You are powerless to change anything, and you just can't stop watching. You can't look away.

Yet despite that nagging feeling of impending doom (when, I do not know), I am at peace because I finally spoke my mind. I am not one to speak up. I pretty much avoid conflict at all costs. I hold things in and give myself ulcers. I would rather inflict pain upon myself than upon someone I love. My doctor says I need to relieve this stress, but I can't because I am too concerned about others, and not enough about myself. But I did it. It built up inside me and exploded out all at once. This has only happened twice before with my friend. This time, it came out in the form of a letter.

I told him my concerns, I told him my worries. I told him my real feelings, without the sugarcoating. I told him I can't stand her. I told him he deserves better, I told him I don't believe a word she says. I told him it's not up to him to save her, that she first has to save herself. I told him that I love him, but that I can't respect her. Because I can't respect her, I can't be nice to her.

I told him he is free to make his own decisions, its his life. I told him that I love, him, all of him, the real him, not the phony cardboard guy he has become. I told him I will be there. That I want my kids to know him, to love him, to learn from him, but from the real him. I want the best for him.

It might not be enough, it might make things worse. But at least I finally said what I felt, what I think. Leaving the house this morning felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. I felt a million times lighter. And now I sit here, anxiously awaiting his response. While I am nervous about what he might say, if he might just want me out of his life, I know that at least one woman in his life was honest with him. I know that I love him. I know that I care about him. I know that after so many chances given to her, I did all that I could. Now we just have to wait and see if that matters.

Ahhh, the wisdom of the US government...

2006-08-14T14:08:00.000-04:00

So I am a contractor at a federal agency, the lowly step-child of a unit though. Not a big name office, but part of a massive and influential agency. With the number of brains in this agency, you would think that people would be capable of formulating sensical and thought-out plans. Apparently, I give them too much credit.

First an email went out about a meeting. No one involved with the meeting received the email, except the person who sent it. Then that person was upset when no one showed up. Ummm, maybe because they didn't know about it.

Second, we reschedule the meeting. The meeting about where we will all go when our office moves in the near future. Some people get the email and circulate to those who got left out (including the HEAD of the SECTION!!).

Then this afternoon, the frosting on the cupcakes. Facilities came around to get estimates for the moving company. One would think for our move to our new building, the one we have a meeting about tomorrow. Oh no, there I go giving too much credit again!! The move in question, is the one where they pack up a select number in the office and ship them to a different floor because reconstructive work is complete.

Ok so let me see if I got this right. We moved out of our first location to a second location a few months ago, while reconstruction occurred. In that time, we finalized a move to our central office that will happen in the near future. But first, I am going to have to pack my stuff, move to a different floor within this building, so I can then unpack my stuff, then repack it for the move to the new building. And the federal government is going to pay a moving company to move my belongings, not once to the new building, but twice, once being within the current building.

This is where your taxpayer dollars go folks....

How does this make sense?

2006-08-10T08:50:00.000-04:00

So I had to go on a business trip recently to Kentucky. Besides the point but hey. So I was on a business trip and while I was gone, my wonderful large internationally known enormous corporation held an ethics training. I could not attend seeing as I was in Kentucky. I was told other arrangements would be made. When I returned I was told, don't worry about it. I check my email this morning. Well make-up sessions are next week. In Bethesda, no where near my office in Washington DC. The session is 1/2 hour long. It's an open discussion on diversity. Someone please explain to me how it makes sense to have me travel an hour to a remote location, to share a bag lunch with a bunch of people I will never see again, whom I have never met previously, to discuss diversity, when ensuring diversity is actually part of my job, for a half hour, then turning around and traveling back another hour. You are spending more on my commuting and wasting time in the MIDDLE of my day to have some fake ridiculous discussion that accomplishes nothing. Ever hear of a conference call, or a webinar? Why can't anyone is DC use just half their brain?

Lies, lies, lies....

2006-08-09T14:33:00.000-04:00

It's amazing what lying can do to a relationship...even affecting people who aren't actually in the relationship but who are watching it from the outside in.

My roommate's girlfriend told him a major lie. We aren't talking like little fiblet or white lie, we are talking she said X, but it was more like Y. This lie can actually have physical ramifications for him, as well as emotional. So she lied for 2 months before an event, and then failed to admit the truth to him until 2 weeks after the said event. And do you know what he says now, he respects her more because she admitted it. Are you kidding?

She told one of the most heinous lies you can tell in a relationship. She put him at risk. The entire history of her is now in doubt, all because she was "ashamed". We all have things we are ashamed of, but real relationships are built on mutual trust and respect and if she is going to lie to him for 2 and 1/2 months about that, then she clearly has zero respect for him.

Besides that ginormous lie, she lies about other things. To his face, to my face...I don't believe a word she says anymore. And how can he? Seriously. Yes she "broke down" and admitted it, but two weeks later. And trust me, this is not a case of better late than never.

So being friends we try to help him, we try to show him the possibility that she just might be pathological and that her "issues" might be a little deeper than anticipated. And he attacks us. I understand he "loves" her and is going to defend her honor, but to turn around and attack the actual friendship we have is low. To tell us that if we are such good friends we should try acting like it. That's a lesson you might want to look in the mirror for sonny. He hasn't been there in months. He only cares when she isn't around.

I get that he loves her. I get that his world revolves around her. But when you throw a wrench like that out there, and then he says he respects her more for it now...that just makes me want to vomit.

It sucks watching a friend make such big mistakes. It blows knowing that he is going to end up hurt and bleeding. It sucks knowing that we tried to help and he pushed us away. And while I may not talk to him today, and I may not acknowledge his existence tomorrow, alas, I will be there to pick up the pieces when the proverbial end arrives.

Metro is as reliable as, well, its not!

2006-08-08T10:08:00.000-04:00

Someone please explain to me how the NYC subway has suddenly become the picture of perfection to me. Forget the roasting temperatures, the graffiti, the homeless panhandlers, at least you know what to expect with the subway. Here is DC, it's a craps shoot.

Over the last two weeks, metro has yet to be on time, ever. The reason was due to extreme temperatures from the heat wave, the tracks were roasting and overheating, causing heat kinks. In order to deal with the problem, metro ran less trains with more time in between and at slower speeds. This allowed for more build up of riders in the stations between trains, and extended commute times. My typical commute of 1 hour (to go 12 miles!!) increased to average an hour and a half. Add on to longer wait times, the air quality index warnings, which provided free bus rides, and the request to commuters to use public transportation. Increased ridership...again that's in addition to the already present crowds waiting the extended periods. Ok, so with all the extra traffic and people, one would think metro would alleviate the burden somehow, maybe by running longer trains, thereby accomodating more people at one time on the slower pace. Nah...that makes sense. Clearly metro cannot do that.

And air conditioning...while I know NYC does not have such conveniences, it is warmer here, and a/c is the norm. When I ride the NYC Subway, I expect hot humid conditions, when I ride metro I do not. Well, that is until last week, when the driver of our train forgot to turn on the a/c until we reached our final destination. As he opened the doors and we started pouring out of the packed car, all of a sudden, WHOOSH! The blowers went on and the a/c started cranking. Nope, we didn't need that when I was jammed up against the window, with a senior citizen using me for balance, while I teetered over someone's leg. All 800 of us in one car, were so ecstatic to hear that WHOOSH, just knowing the driver was now comfortable...I think if he had exited his little section of car, he would have been pummeled.

Well the heat wave broke, so one would expect everything to return to normal. Who was I kidding? I arrive at the metro yesterday morning, and watch the 6:55 train pull out of the station, and head down to the platform to take my normal 7:08 train. Tricky tricky!! Who would have thought the last train out of the station would be at 6:55am!! But it was. There was no announcement, no sorry we are closing the station. I happened to overhear a station manager on the floor above me, saying there was a power outage and no trains would be coming in or going out. LOVELY!! So I headed out of the metro, through the toll free gate, hopped in my car and fought rush hour traffic to park for $17. Ironically enough, I made it to work earlier than I did when I catch my normal train. And that's without the benefit of the HOV lane!

This morning, I go to enter the metro and due to the fact that I had entered yesterday and never "exited" my card wouldn't work. So I have to see the station manager. He keeps trying to tell me I have to pay for shuttle ride to Van Dorn metro and the subsequent train ride. At this point his broken English isn't really grasping the fact that I did not ride the train yesterday, but instead drove my own car into DC. Finally, on the fourth explanation, he grasped that I drove to work, and fixed my card so I could enter.

Halfway to King Street, on the lovely blue line this morning, we had a "medical emergency"...a customer fainted. Luckily they didn't off load the train...maybe my luck with metro is finally turning around. I won't hold my breath.

What happened to a little class?

2006-08-02T12:39:00.000-04:00

Is chivalry really dead? I know the feminist movement erased a lot of traditions when it came to how men act around women, but did it really change things THAT much?!

Can someone please explain to me the propensity for today's youth (And some not so youthful) to scream profanity laced statements at the top of their lungs? Don't get me wrong, I am the first person to drop an "F" bomb when the dung hits the fan, or to drop a number of expletives if I drop something on my toe, but when the "F" word is used as an adjective, subject, noun, verb and every other part of the English language, does it not cross a line? At the very least, most of my swearing is done in the presence of my own friends, whom I am comfortable with, and never in a very public setting for all the world to hear. Certainly not at the top of my lungs on a crowded metro car. Certainly not in mixed company.

And while we are on the subject, can someone please explain to me why "youngsters" feel the need to use derogatory terms to refer to each other and their friends? Never in my life have I referred to one of my girlfriends as my "bitches" or my "ho's". And while not a member of the minority, I don't understand why African-Americans use the N-word in reference to each other. How is that cool? Using a term that your previous oppressors used to codify you in a derogatory and demeaning manner, just because "he is your boy"? That's like me saying, "Yo, cracker, what's the dealio?" It just makes you sound ignorant and uneducated.

And can someone explain to me why people suddenly have their "ghetto" accents? Who do you think you are fooling? I am actually from New York, and have an accent on certain words or when I am angry, but I don't whip it out to be cool. Like in high school, there actually was a girl who pulled out some thick Bronx accent and told us how she had just moved to the sub-urbs. Too bad we had all known her and gone to school with her since kindergarten. Who are you fooling? My personal favorite are the upper class white kids from say McLean, who go "gangsta" and speak slang. Who are you kidding, you were raised in suburbia with a silver spoon in your mouth? Some of us actually have family in the so-called "Hood" and can tell you, its nothing like that. So get back in the BMW Daddy bought you when you were 16, put your khakis and your Izod shirt back on, go back to Bishop Ireton or wherever you came from, and be yourself.

Heat Wave to the Extreme

2006-08-01T10:04:00.000-04:00

When the hell did I move to the Sahara?? Today is forecasted to hit 101 degrees Fahrenheit...add in the humidity and the heat index is supposed to be more than 110 degrees. Yesterday, it was 98 with an index of 101 degrees. Can someone explain it to me?

To deal with the extreme heat, metro has issued travel advisories. Letting everyone know that trains will be running with more time in between, and will be running at lower speeds to avoid heat kinks in the track. Air Quality is bad so recommendations are for more people to rely on public transportation rather than personal vehicles. That's good...so tell more people to take the train, and then run less of them. Makes perfect sense to me. It's 101 degrees out, the stations aren't air conditioned, and we are cramming people into the subway like sardines...maybe it will be like last week. Remember Metro Authority, when I rode home on an extra slow train, on an air quality red day, when trains were delayed by problems at Stadium Armory....it took me an hour to get to my stop, and the entire ride, the conductor did not want to turn on the air conditioner. As soon as we pulled into the final stop though, that air conditioner went on full blast. I am not hopeful for my ride home this evening...not hopeful at all.

Roommate who?

2006-07-31T15:42:00.000-04:00

So I mentioned before, I have a roommate. Well more accurately , we have a roommate. A friend of my husband's, we have known him for years. He was the best man in our wedding. He is by far one of the people in this world who knows me best (besides my sister and my husband). He is supposed to be a godparent to a future child (as yet unnamed and only an idea in theory). He is one of my favorite people on the planet because I can be myself with him. I can fart, I can smell, I can just relax and not have to be a uber-classy girly girl. We play video games together, we drink together, we understand each other.

Well, four years of that was enough I guess. He got a girlfriend. I was excited for him, because I want him to be happy. She's nice, a little naive, very immature, but in doses, I kinda like her. And good for him finally getting out there. Until they get serious.

They have been together for two months, you would think its been 2 years. All of a sudden, he's lying to me, he's someone he has never been. He is putting off the things he loved for someone else.

He used to drink beer, not often, but occasionally we'd kick a few back. A lt of times, we'd sit around and play drunked Mario Party...good times had by all. She doesn't approve of drinking. I have seen him have one beer since. And she was ironically enough, absent. He went to a wedding with her, with all his buddies, where they were all sloshed, a typical big event for them all, and he didn't touch the stuff. Ok, so maybe he is just trying to be a better person.

He's lying to us. Since we share a home, to make life easier and avoid needless arguments, we have assigned laundry days. Ours is Sunday, his was Monday (he was off Mondays). We came home from a weekend at our parents to find him doing laundry on a Sunday. Odd...he has never done laundry on a Sunday. As soon as we walked in, he ran up to meet us, also something he never does. He told us he decided to some laundry early, thinking we would be home late. We didn't think anything of it, until we left to grab some dinner. We went downstairs to tell him we were leaving. Again, didn't notice anything. But he called attention to the fact that she was floding her laundry, and told us, she was doing laundry right before she came, and it wasn't dry so she just brought it over and threw it in our dryer for a few minutes. Ummm, ok. Random, but whatever.

A few hours later, when he finished his laundry, hubby went downstairs for something. She was still folding her laundry. You know, those few items that had still been wet hours ago?!?!

So I wasn't thrilled she was doing laundry at our place, but whatever, no biggie. My problem, is the lie. Just tell me she's doing her laundry here. I'm not gonna like it, but I'm not going to throw her clothes out back in the dirt. Why do you have to lie about it?

He's also done stuff he hates. He eats at Mango Mike's...he hates Mango Mike's. He not only told us he would never set foot in there but made fun of us for going. Guess where they went the other day?

Small things like that add up. Especially when you stop doing your share of the housework. Garbage piles up, yardwork goes undone. Eventually the jobs he volunteered for, I just started doing. At this point, I don't talk to him. Only if he asks me a question do I speak to him. I don't look at him or acknowledge his presence if he enters a room. At this point, he's just 1/3 of the mortgage.

We called him on his crap. He apologized, but went right back to it. The girlfriend is gone this week. Let's see if we can see any changes.

Don't let the door hit you where the good Lord split you!

2006-07-31T15:16:00.000-04:00

So I work in a fairly big deal government agency, in a very overlooked and underprivileged office that most don't even realize exists. Being that its summer time, we had an influx of interns, and most of the "summer" interns are typically law students. Coming from all corners of the country, all levels of law schools, they descend upon our office for probably a 10-15 week period every summer. Recently, when it comes to these law students, I have recognized an alarming, disconcerting, and upsetting (at least to me) trend.

Holy ATTITUDE!

These kids, and I can now call them that, being at least two years older, but volumes wiser, come in with the attitude that they an do no wrong. They arrived in May and from that moment stuck their noses up in the air. Occasionally sharing an office with one of them, I was able to pick up on some of their trends. One, spend the majority afternoon downstairs at Starbucks, discussing which interns are hooking up with whom. Two, congregate in the one office where someone is actually trying to do work, and discuss evening plans, and how plastered you were the night before.

A week or so after they arrived, our boss had us give presentations on what parts of our jobs entail. As attorneys, most of us were happy to share our experiences with the new kids. What a joke. After explaining to them the legal ramifications that come from disregarding the laws we enforce, I was happy to hear all about how one intern had major issues with the personnel of our office. Her comments were approximately the following, "I can't believe I took my nose ring out for my interviews, and let it close up because there are at least two people here who have them. Once I get back to school, I am getting it repierced." Are you joking? 1) The attorney with the nose ring is about 6 years older than you MISS THANG. 2) No one told you to take it out and let it close up, ever hear of just removing said nose ring. You have a brain, use it.

I am utterly amazed at how full of themselves these kids are. When I was a law student, merely 3 years ago, every internship I had I approached as a job. I watched those above me with intent and admiration. I went into each internship wanting to learn from these people who were ahead of me, and who were doing what I wanted to do. These kids come into here thinking that they have nothing to learn, they know it all. They believe that we should bow down and kiss their feet because they are here. Ummm, excuse me, last I checked, you hadn't even attempted a bar exam yet. And until you do, you are nothing to me. If you want to learn from me, I am happy to share my wisdom, my experience, and my advice, as someone who has been there. But do not approach me as if I am lucky to know you, because it is quite the opposite deary. So just hop on your plane back to Iowa or wherever you came from, and go let your professors tell you what little you know. That, my friends, is what law school is all about.

Jobs in DC

2006-07-28T10:15:00.000-04:00

Landing a legitimate job in the DC Metro area is no easy feat. Well, unless of course your daddy is friends with someone, or you have good "oral" skills.

When I moved down here, it took me 3.5 months to land my first job after law school. Not only was it not an attorney position. It was a joke. I was paid almost nothing to put in 12-14 hour days with no overtime, bonus or anything. I lived in cubicle land, had every email I wrote read my the President, and there was even a point where the President forbid us from emailing each other in the office. She said we were being to chatty and not produtive enough. The job was in a legislative industry, though I will offer no more specifics. If I had to describe it in one word, it was HELL.

One day, when I was being truly abused during a snowstorm, I had had enough, and walked out. No notice, no nothing. A definite faux pas in DC. Luckily this time, I was only out of work for one month. I followed up hell with a promising job as a government contractor. The position preferred a legal degree, but didn't require it. And that's where I am now. Still. A year and a half later.

Being a contractor has its benefits. I can tell my government bosses, sorry, not allowed. I can avoid crappy projects. It also has its cons. I don't get the generous benefits, I pay my own transportation costs, I cannot be assigned office equipment (like laptops needed in this position). Overall though, its better than being unemployed.

Government jobs though, that's like the holy grail. I have been trying to land one of those positions for over 2 years now. I have applied for attorney jobs, and been shot down. The even sadder part though, is when I get shot down for jobs I am blatantly overqualified for. I can't even get hired as a paralegal or a legal specialist. Regardless of my experience, grades, and recommendations.

Government hiring is a joke. The whole point is to give equal opportunity to all. I call bullshit. When you see what actually gets hired for a position you are more than qualified to do, that's a slap in the face. It's all about how many points you get. Disabilities? That's bonus points. Veteran's, even more. Race, throw a few on the top. But what about Abby Average?

I understand the point of the programs, and the reasons behind it, but I have to ask myself, in today's society, are they still as relevant as they used to be? People with disabilities are flourishing in positions beyond government. Minorities make up more of the country at this point than the so-called "Majority". Veteran's, they typically aren't applying for the jobs that I am.

I guess what I am saying, is I understand the basis. I grasp the argument. But it get frustrating when I am busting my ass to get ahead, and I just keep getting trampled on because I am "normal" and "average". Better grades mean nothing, more experience, it's not significant. All because of the points system. I am not looking for a government job to enjoy the gravy train. I am actually looking for a government position because I believe in the work. I support the mission, I want to work hard to get something done. But that doesn't matter....the fact that I have compensated for my dyslexia for the past 28 years and succeeded means nothing because I don't want to advertise it. Apparently, I just need to go get the doctor's note, then I too, can become a government worker, the only thing I have ever wanted to be.

This is me

2006-07-27T14:02:00.000-04:00

I am a late-twenty something. I am female. I am a lawyer. I work in goverment. I am married. I have a roommate in addition to a husband. That's me in a nutshell.

Let me give you the background of me first. I am from the Northeast. I was born and raised in the Northeast, did the majority of my schooling in the Mid-Atlantic states. I come from a fairly blue collar family. My dad is a cop and former Air Force peon, my mom was a stay at home mom for most of my life. Everything I have in my life, I worked damn hard for.

I got my first job when I was 16, and haven't been unemployed since. I was an Honors student, but didn't pull down the Straight-A's. I was Captain of the Track team, President of the Youth Art Committee and taught baton twirling.

I went to a private college, thanks to some financial aid, an on-campus job (sometimes 2 or 3), and a lot of loans. I followed that up with law school, financed completely on loans.

I married the only boy I have ever loved. We have known each other since elementary school. We bought a house this year, now the real estate market is collapsing.

We have a roommate, he used to be our best friend. He got a girlfriend, now I don't know who he is.

I work for a huge corporation, it's very well known. I am no one in that corporation. I don't even work as an attorney. I am contracted at a big deal government agency, I am still no one in that agency. I have worked here over a year. I have never gotten a raise.

Despite all that, I am happier than I have ever been, so why does no one believe me?